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Skanks In The Crosshairs, Part I: Twilight Of The Strumpets
By Smaktakula Flower of American Skankhood: LiLo Mimes Fellatio For An Approving Audience. The 21st Century promises to be a cold one for women of easy virtue. Harlots, hos, sluts, wayward girls,...
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A Contemporary Helen Of Troy
By Smaktakula Sorry, Chubbsy--You Didn't Make The 2010 Maxim Hot 100. Have You Thought About Modelling Mu-Mus? In 2010, female beauty is ubiquitous. It pouts on the covers of magazines, stares down...
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Does It Smell Like Skank In Here?
By Smaktakula Callipygian sexpot Kim Kardashian unveiled her long-awaited signature scent to an eager public last January. That the ambulatory pair of buttocks would seek to profit from her musky...
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Promethean Times’ 2011 Person Of The Year: Us Again
By The Promethean Times Editorial Staff We Looked Among All The Nations Of The World, And Could Find None More Deserving Of Our Praise. We’ll admit it–we didn’t think it would come to this. We figured...
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Headlines: 06.29.12
By Smaktakula You Need To Let That One Go, Fellas. Nature Will Sort Everything Out. Look–you can read the articles if you want, but we get all we need to know from the headlines. Cher ticks off...
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Headlines: The Real Secret Of Our Success
By Smaktakula He’ll Go Halfsies With You On Gas. But For Your Own Sanity, Avoid The Topic Of Non-Aryan Drivers. In which we comment on the headlines without first reading the articles. *** The Task in...
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Headlines 10.16.12
By Smaktakula Look, We Tried, But She Refused To Take It Seriously. She Kept Wanting To Play Charades. In Which We Comment On The Headlines Without Bothering To Read The Articles *** 9 Reasons Why...
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Headlines: Get On Your Knees And Fight Like A Man
By Smaktakula How Conceited Are The Folks In South Haven?–They Clearly Believe Their Shit Don’t Stink. You can read the articles if you want. We didn’t. We’re just talking about the headlines. *** 11...
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Headlines: Shaking And Stirred
By Smaktakula We Believe It Is Vitally Important To Treat An Issue With The Same Respect You Would Accord To Any Other Issue. In which we celebrate our awe-inspiring ignorance by commenting on the...
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